George on Two Girls.

Yep. George on two girls. One cup. Not me, mind you, but George Clooney. If you haven't heard of Two "Girls, One Cup", then you've missed out. And count yourself fortunate for missing out. There are some things, my friend, that you simply cannot unwatch. Things that eternally burn images into your mind. "Two Girls, One Cup" is one of those things. I've seen people shot in the head. I'm sure many have seen the infamous Buddhist monk lighting himself afire in protest of the Vietnam war. It's pretty crazy, but it pales, fails, and falls horrendously short of the horrors that "Two Girls, One Cup" provides.

Postponing the inevitable, I will explain what "Two Girls, One Cup" (if you know of it) has to do with George Clooney. And why George Clooney? Because his new movie Leatherheads is released today.

Actually, and I'm not even going to get to the fucking point in this paragraph, this video is horrible. After this, you will never view things the same. For better or for worse. No, I don't mean that to be a double entendre. I actually do like For Better or For Worse, but I digress. No, "Two Girls, One Cup" will not enrich you. But neither does killing a man in Reno, whether to watch him die or just to steal his wallet. After watching aforementioned clip, you might actually feel as if you are dead or that you would rather be. It's a VERY real possibility.

Clooney's been pretty comfortable with all this so far. He's not easily thrown by his own fame or by the brutal assessments of the fame obsessed. But what about the larger dangers of the Web? I realize that I've spent a couple of hours showing Clooney sites about Clooney, but I haven't asked him, Does he ever go on the Internet?

"I go on YouTube when somebody says to look something up," he answers. "There was one a few years ago that killed me. Look up 'monkey smells butt.'"

I type it in. Up pops a video of a chimp sticking his finger up his butt, smelling it, then promptly passing out.

Clooney roars with laughter. "He just smells it and goes woooah and flops off the side. That always kills me."

At this point, I make a segue that seemed relevant at the time but in retrospect was probably a very bad idea. "You know," I tell him, "I asked the guy who does the Esquire Website what I should show George Clooney, and he said, 'Show him 2 Girls 1 Cup.' "

"What's that?"

"It's the most disturbing video in the history of videos."

"Show it to me."

"Really? I don't know."

"I can take it," Clooney says. "I'm a grown-up. We're all grown-ups."

"It's scarring. It'll scar you forever."

"Is it long?" he asks.

"No," I tell him, "but it's so disturbing. I saw it once and can never get it out of my mind. I can't watch it again."

"I want to see it."

Well, he asked. After a bit of searching, I find the link. I click it.

After several seconds: "It's not so bad," he says.

Three seconds later: "Oh."

Another two seconds: "Oh, my GOD! Oh, my God!! Oh, my God!"

Clooney puts his hand over his mouth like he's going to throw up. He bolts from his chair and walks out of the room.

Clooney's longtime PR guy, Stan Rosenfield, wants to know what the fuss is about. Clooney tells him he just watched the most repulsive video he's ever seen. Rosenfield wants to see it.

"I want to go at least one second more than George."

"I've got to watch Stan watch it," Clooney says, recomposing himself. "It's like the rodeo -- see how long you can last."
- Source

Honestly, truly, Two Girls One Cup is exactly like a rodeo. It's twisted, sick, fucked up, horrendous, revolting, disgusting, purely vile, immensely grotesque shit that no one should see, but if you can manage to hold on and watch all of it... you got balls of steel. Just like the BME Pain Olympics, and well... BME in general. I don't know if these kinds of things are bad or not. I'm not a psychology major, though I do know a few of them. I can't honestly say that this will alter an individuals mind frame, as I don't feel anywhere near qualified to offer an opinion on such matters. But when you see George Clooney and if you see Leatherheads... think about "Two Girls, Once Cup."



If you feel brave enough to ride the rodeo... here you go.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

actually....

NOT SAFE FOR ANYWHERE

I warned you